Fighting Back Against Medical Gaslighting Why I Fired My Doctor

Last week I had one of the worst doctor's appointments in my 25 years of living with chronic pain and illness. Why? Because I was medically gaslit by a female nurse practitioner. After leaving my appointment in tears and without answers, I decided to fire my pain management doctor and the nurse practitioner that works for him.

The following is a letter I sent to the doctor the next day. Now we all know that the doctor really won't care but I needed to say my piece as medical gaslighting has to stop. Their names have been left out as it is not my intention to publicly slander anyone.

October 10, 2024

xxxxxxxxxxxx

ATTN: Dr. xxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxx

RE: Jacqueline xxx - Appt on October 9, 2024, with xxxxx

Dear Dr xxxx

I am writing to you about my appointment yesterday with xxx

I specifically asked NOT to see xxxx. I had seen her twice in the past and the first time she tried to sell me a spinal cord stimulator which I don’t need and didn’t like it when I refused. The second time she insisted that I had an SI joint injury. I had an MRI done and my SI joint was fine. Therefore, the procedure that was done for my SI joint was unnecessary.

I wanted to see either you or xxxx as my last few appointments were with both of you which I’ve always appreciated. You have told me that “My case is complex” and assured me you’d do the best he could to help me. You were always very understanding and answered my questions.

I thought I had a treatment plan with you and xxxx for my case. NOTHING was ever mentioned to me about another procedure on my right side. I had questions which I have the right ask and xxxx has a responsibility to answer. She didn’t want to hear any of it.

She insisted that I needed another procedure and I’m in the system for back pain and didn’t want to hear anything different. This is the first time I’m hearing this. She didn’t ask about my Chronic Lyme Disease treatment which is imperative and my primary diagnosis along with my CRPS pain and swelling in my knee and ankle.

She didn’t ask why I no longer take 2 medications as per my Lyme Specialist. She just wanted to sign me up for another procedure like a used car salesman. When asked about this next procedure she said it’s “just like the last one on the right side” When I asked for a further explanation, she got annoyed. When I asked her why I needed another procedure, she insisted I had back pain and my hip (Lyme joint pain and inflammation) plus knee and ankle (CRPS) pain was all referred pain. I don’t have back pain or issues, and I never did. I was simply asking questions about the procedure.

Twice I said “We are not communicating effectively, and I’d like to talk to Dr xxxxx. She said “Yes, we are.” I said we are not, and I’d like to talk to xxxx or Dr xxx as they are more familiar with my history. She said, “Your history is in the computer” and she would talk to you. She left and came back and said she spoke to you and that I need another procedure.

Then she wanted a letter from a psychiatrist that prescribes one of my medications. I said there is one that you requested I get from my primary and I handed it to you and xxx in front of my friend who was with me at my second appointment. You both saw and accepted the letter dated 8/23 from Dr xxxxx which I have a copy of. Not my problem if no one put it in “the system”. xxxx wanted me to go to a psychiatrist, have the psychiatrist prescribe the medication and to get a new letter. Then she starts ranting that I haven’t been drug tested as if it’s my fault! No one ever asked for one!

She never mentioned this new letter during my other two appointments I had with her. She only said this out of spite because she was really annoyed with me.

xxxx constantly interrupts and cuts off anything you try to say. Twice I said, “May I finish speaking?” Once she said “NO” and the second time she said “You’re Done”.

She said, “I’m the professional” and I said, “You’re not acting like one” and she was fuming. After 20 minutes of medical gaslighting while in tears and visibly shaking, I raised my voice and said, “I’m not arguing with you anymore.” She said “Don’t you raise your voice at me. You don’t want to see me raise my voice” as she walked ahead of me.

I asked, “Are your threatening me?” She said, “I’m telling you that you don’t want to see me go there”. Nice thing to say to a patient who was already in tears from the start of the appointment due to my pain level. I couldn’t even sit in a chair and had to stand for most of the appointment.

She said “You’re not getting ANY medicine in front of two girls who schedule your next appointment and patients waiting in the chairs at the procedure room. She won’t refill my 3 scripts (non-opioid) until I have another procedure in two weeks and then a follow up two weeks after that which will leave me short on my medications. Usually, my scripts are sent in with refills for 3 months. So basically, I’m being blackmailed. If I don’t have a procedure that I don’t understand or know if I want, I won’t get my medications.

She then told me to go to an orthopedist, which I’ve already have done per your instructions. She had the MRI results from the orthopedist right in front of her! When I said, “You just looked at the MRI results” She told me to go to another orthopedist for a second opinion (which I did too). Again, she didn’t want to hear it. Why because the MRI showed my SI Joint was fine and she was wrong?

Most of this happened in the hallway and in front of the girls at the desk that checked you out and two patients that were sitting in chairs in front of the procedure room. They could see and verify how visibly upset I was and how angry xxxxx was that she stormed out of the other side of the room of the receptionist’s area The receptionist was left confused as what to do. I just spoke to your clinical director xxxx who said she witnessed how angry xxxx was and saw me shaking and crying.

Don’t dare question her or the treatments she recommends! If you dare to speak, she’ll cut you right off. She wouldn’t let me speak to you even though you told me twice my case is complex. She has a serious God complex and she isn’t even an MD, nor does she have any understanding Chronic neurological Lyme or CRPS pain!

She has no compassion for her patients and doesn’t care to hear them out or ensure that they understand a procedure. She is the epitome of medical gaslighting and seems to know nothing about autoimmune disease related pain!

I have NEVER in 25 years of living with multiple chronic pain and illnesses been treated so horribly and unprofessionally at a doctor’s appointment as I was with xxxxxx. I have NEVER had an argument with a doctor or any healthcare workers. She treated me like a drug addict seeking meds when you and xxxx both knew how responsible I am with pain medications and how rarely I use them.

In my opinion xxxxx is practicing beyond the scope of her license held and provided unprofessional and substandard care. Her “professional” behavior was absolutely jaw dropping and disgusting. If she can’t be compassionate, understanding, knowledgeable and answer patient’s questions, she should be treating chronic pain patients.

To top that all off, today I received a bill from you for over $200. You told me that my insurance company would cover my procedures. You’ll need to take me to court for it because I refuse to pay. I’ll be happy to file a counter claim for emotional distress, medical gaslighting, malpractice and an onset of an exacerbation of symptoms due to yesterday’s upsetting event with xxxx.

I’ve obtained xxxx license number License #xxxx. A female primary physician in xxxxx was listed as the doctor she works under. Shouldn’t it be a doctor at xxxxxxx? There is only 1 xxxxx xxxx licensed as a NP xxxxx.

Since I was told that I cannot select which NP I’m seeing at an appointment and I refuse to see xxxxx again, I’ve decided to no longer be a patient at xxxxxxx. It’s a shame because every other employee there is always professional, kind and courteous. Funny how you have a current Google review saying the same thing about her. Now there will be another review and a complaint filed with the xxxxx Nursing Board.

Sincerely,

Jacqueline xxxxxx